Every lady wishes her man would spend his time in devotion to her. They want to know they are special to us. (Don't we want that from them, too?) Does that mean we guys have to spend a ton of money to show our lady that we love her? Heck no! Seriously bro!
If your gal needs you to spend tons of money and you don't have it... well, if you're married, you two need to come to a new agreement. If you're not married and it's possible to part ways, you might want to seriously consider it. Debt is definitely not a good idea - ever.
Most women who love a man really just want him to show in some tangible way (by her Love Language, which you can read about in The Five Love Languages
), that he loves her. If you don't know about the Love Languages, man... well, you need to know. I'm going to share a little primer here... because I realize you may need a clue if you don't have anything ready for the big day in TWO DAYS.I'm going to share a little info with some ideas (with the help of my lady) for each love language.
Let's say you're lady feels loved when you speak lovingly to her. This lady is a "words of affirmation" love language. How do you know? Well... does she ask you leading questions a lot? What does that mean? My wife tells me if means: Does she say, "Do I look pretty in this?" or "What do you think of my hair?" or anything along those lines. It could be leading questions about something she's done, too.
For a "words of affirmation" lady, write her a letter, man! Yes, I know. We don't like to express ourselves... our feelings. Heck, most of the time I don't know HOW I feel. My wife suggests watching a two or three sappy movies and figuring out which of the sappy things the leading man says really fit how you think/feel about your lady. Sounds like a good idea to me! (I'll explain a little bit about my lady tomorrow.) Just as a reminder, this stuff is for the lady whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation.
End of First Love Language.
What if she feels loved when you spend time with her? This is a "quality time" lady. How do you know? Does she always want you to go along with her to do just about everything? Does she ask you to sit with her while she's doing something you can't possibly help with? Does she like to just "spend time" together. If so, she may be feel loved by "quality time".
If you have a "quality time" lay, ask her today what she'd like to do in whatever time you have available on the 14th. And then do it. And don't just do it with a mopey face, but really get into it... at least act like you're into it. Ask questions about whatever activity she's chosen. Kinda of questions you can ask (I was clueless, I had to ask my wife): ask her why she likes the activity so much. As her when was the first time she knew she really enjoyed ___. You know, stuff like that.) Engage her. NO, man! that doesn't mean you have to get engaged with a ring and all that. It means you need to ask thoughtful questions and really listen. This stuff is for the lady whose Love Language is Quality Time.
End Second Love Language.
That same stuff goes a long way with the lady who feels loved when you speak kind words to her, too!
For the lady who feels loved when you do kind things for her without her asking... this is an "acts of service" lady. This one is awesome! (Maybe I think so because this is my love language....) How do you know? Most often a lady who feels loved by "acts of service" will do them for you. Also, you may recognize this kind of lady if she is constantly asking you to do things for her that she could just as easily do herself. If she does, she is probably an "acts of service" love language lady.
You can DO all kinds of things for your lady and leave a little note about it wishing her a happy Valentine's Day. Do the dishes and leave a note in front of the sink that tells her you did it to make her happy. Vacuum the living room, sweet, mop, DO whatever and make sure to leave a note about it. Make her dinner. Make the bed. You know, all that stuff. But don't just DO it... leave a note communicating to her WHY you did it (because you love her, of course).
End Third Love Language
If you have a lady who seems to feel loved when you give her things, you have a "receiving gifts" love language lady. You might think this sort of lady will break your bank. But you're wrong. The gifts don't have to cost tons of money for this kind of lady. They have to be very lady-specific, though, to strum the strings of her heart.
She wants to know that you've listened to and heard her. What has she told you she'd really like, but hasn't purchased for herself. If you don't know of a single thing, then you're either not listening or you do NOT have a "receiving gifts" love language lady. Or... maybe you've been unhearing so long that she doesn't tell you any more. That's definitely possible.
I'm sorry I can't offer you much specific help on this one, man. A "receiving gifts" love language lady has told you what she wants already... I don't know because I wasn't there to hear her.
End Fourth Love Language
With the lady who feels loved by physical touch, you might think you've got the easy road. You're wrong, man. This lady doesn't want just to get busy in bed. She wants a deeper more intimate connection. She wants you to touch her non-sexually throughout the day. Yes, I had a difficult time with this one. I mean, isn't all touching leading up to... you know... at some point? My wife tells me: yes and no. gah!
Okay, so I'm going to turn the keyboard over to her now.
Non-sexual touch means that there isn't expectation of bedroom stuff. If that has become the norm, the guy who loves this kind of woman needs to start today... or his efforts won't work. Why? Because he's probably fallen into the habit of only touching her when he's interested in what follows under the sheets. She knows it and is probably hurt and frustrated... even if she doesn't really know why.
So, if your lady is a "physical touch" love language lady, you need to start right now. Leave the computer/device/whatever and go get a drink of water. Make sure to pass by your lady and touch her... maybe pass your hands over her shoulder, or kiss her cheek, or touch her hand. Anything, really. And then make sure to do that a few times today. At least three times. Tonight, do not make any moves. However you normally initiate bedroom stuff... don't do it. Make sure one of the three times you touch her is by an extra long hug. Just hug her with your arms around her shoulders and/or waist.
Repeat tomorrow.
Repeat on Valentine's Day. I'm pretty sure she'll make some moves on you (if yall are active that way) either Valentine's night or within another day or two of repeating the AT LEAST three times physical touching each day.
End Fifth Love Language
I'm back now. I hope you find this helpful. I think I've learned something (from what my wife wrote above).
1 comment:
These are some great last minute gift ideas. I seen some I would like to receive. I prefer more unique gifts and not all of the fancy things.
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